Trust
by Life imitated art
Summary: Don't let anyone in. Be invisible. Avoid everyone. That's my motto and I've been able to live by that, until now, until she came along.
1. Chapter 1

I am different.

'Unique' is the word doctors used often to refer to my situation. But I know they only put it that way to make me feel better, to make me feel like I'm someone special.

Like I said, they don't fool me; I'm nothing special. Just a troubled teen with issues, major issues nonetheless. Apparently, something in my brain isn't functioning properly since that stupid accident ten years ago and they have never encountered the symptoms I have before. It is obvious there is something wrong with me but still they can't find the reason why I am who I am today.

But all of that doesn't make me precious, it makes me broken. A piece of shit in which nobody is interested, but I've learned to live with it. I've learned to live with the fact that I'll always be alone. No friends and not even someone to talk to.

It's for the best. I actually prefer it this way. It's not like I would be able to communicate with anyone anyway. Talking isn't my forte anymore... I stutter, even though my thoughts are crystal clear at all times. And that makes me not wanting to talk anymore and people don't want to talk to me anymore as well. Which is fine by me. I avoid people as much as possible anyway; try to be invisible to everyone who could harm me.

But I failed once. I failed to keep to my motto the minute I was seen by her.

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_A/N:_ _So this something new. :D_

_Let me know what you think because I really want to know if it's worth it to continue this idea :)_

_I didn't want to post anything because I really need to get caught up on reading and reviewing others, but here I am. Please review, I will update tomorrow or even tonight if I get enough interest._

PS: For those of you who are wondering, the other fanfic I was talking about posting will be put on hold.


	2. Chapter 2

_Paul_

It had been another day in a hell hole better known as high school. Another day of complete boringness, nothingness and loneliness to me. But something I had to endure nonetheless. Every day it was something I had to face while there was nothing I would rather do than just lock myself in my room with my computer, away from everyone and everything.

But no, life wasn't that easy. So every single day I got up and headed towards my own little place of hell.

As usual, I arrived just in time for my first class, so I headed straight to the classroom, not bothering about everyone around me. I had always hated wandering around the school property before the lessons start, mostly because I was always alone. I didn't see the point in coming early if I would just be the loner or freak without any friends. It was already hard enough to spend lunch on my own.

I hurried through the hallway as I was running late when I passed a muscular boy with black spiky hair. One of the popular kids.

"Freak!" he whispered acidly in my direction, his eyes boring in mine. I quickly looked at my feet, avoiding his poisonous gaze while I kept walking towards my first class.

Yes, I was highly aware that I was the school freak.

Freak, mute, loner... I've heard it all. Every insult had been thrown my way. Not very often luckily, but every once in a while, just to remind me of my place within this school system.

But I tended not to react to it. I ignored it. All of it. All of them. And I was good at it.

I couldn't let them get through me. I didn't allow myself to think about their harsh comments. They didn't know my story, so they didn't know me. And if they didn't know me, their comments weren't for me, they were for the impression they had of me.

There was only one person in this whole fucked-up world that knew the real me, and that was me. Sad, I know.

Not even my mother knew me. She always treated me like a sick kid, while I'm not. I'm not sick, I'm slightly damaged but it's not like I need supervision 24/7. I'm fine on my own and I can very well take care of myself.

I like being on my own actually, only not on school grounds. Even though the comments don't really hurt me, I don't like to be the freak. I'd rather be part of a group, have friends, go out on special or random occasions, just have fun like a normal teenage boy would be doing at this age. But that's not how my life had turned out to be. I was who I was and there was no improvement in sight.

So I had learned to live with it.

I took my place, in the back of the class, at the only empty table – always an empty table as I hated sitting next to people. Well, they probably hated sitting next to me even more but I just felt more comfortable this way so I guess it was a win-win situation.

First period was biology. Mr Ehressman was explaining some shit about mitosis which I really couldn't be bothered about. I already knew this shit. I knew a lot because reading is my favorite and main pass-time. Yes, not having any friends allows you a lot of free time...

But as I was saying, I was a bright kid, I had always been, thanks to all the reading of course. But even though I could answer every single question I was asked, I often pretended not to know. No one knew how smart I really was. Nobody. Not even my parents. I hid it by always managing to score just enough to pass.

I guess I didn't want to be called 'nerd' as well, even though in some way I was. There are only that much insults a teenage boy can take. Or maybe I just didn't want the other kids to be nice to me, just so they could get my notes if they hadn't paid attention once again.

Yes, another one of my well-thought-of defense mechanisms.

The morning passed slowly, so slowly I had a hard time trying to stay awake. When the bell chilled through the classroom to signal lunch I groaned inwardly. I hated lunch. Well, I hated this whole stupid school, but lunch is the most horrible period of the day.

I got up, gathered my books and made my way to the already crowded cafeteria. While doing this, I tried to be as invisible as possible.

_Look nobody in the eye._

_Bump into no one._

_Avoid groups of popular kids._

_No detours._

I had it all mapped out and every time I was walking through the hallways I was holding my breath, as if I was waiting for someone to snap at me or throw a nasty comment my way. But today, I was spared and succeeded in my attempts to avoid people.

I sighed in relief as I let myself fall in the chair of my lunch table. Once again, in the back of the room, where I felt safer.

By that time, people didn't really notice me anymore. I didn't get the long stares I used to get all the time. You know, everyone gaping at you, whispering to the ones next to them. _Look at him. Doesn't he have any friends? What a loner. That Levesque kid is a freak, no wonder he's always on his own. He can't even talk, I think. That stupid kid with his stupid stutter._

They might think that I didn't hear them, but I did. I heard all of it. But as I said, after a while it got old news. They knew I was weird and just left me alone. I guess I really did manage to come invisible at a certain level.

But that didn't make lunch any easier. It was still the worst part of a school day, even though I was ignored mostly, because I was thrown in a social situation. And believe me, being in a social situation in the last thing you want when you stutter.

People had tried to communicate with me before, a lot of times, despite all the harsh comments. Of course not the same ones. The more compassionate ones had tried to talk to me, maybe tried to be friends with me, but I had just ignored them 'til they went away. Harsh, I know, but it was the only way to make them understand that I'm not some charity case they have to look after. As I already said, I'm fine on my own.

And after two years, they finally got the point and left me alone. Well, apart from throwing insults at my head of course. Yes, even the ones who at first were friendly had now joined the darker side. I couldn't care less about it though.

Everyone had gathered in the cafeteria now and the noise was just horrible. People talking, laughing, yelling even... Can't they just enjoy their meal in silence?

Sometimes I felt older than I really was. I couldn't be 17, the same age as all those fuckers here. I felt ten times more mature. I really couldn't wait for high school to be over.

I sighed in relief when it was time to go back to class again. Even though those stupid lessons couldn't bother me, I preferred to be in class than to be in the cafeteria. It's easier to blend in when you're in the back of the class. Especially when even the teachers don't bother to indicate you anymore to give an answer. It takes me approximately five times longer than any other student to pronounce the answer - that I know instantly of course, not that anyone knows- so why would they invest their time in it?

Again, another win-win. They don't lose time and I become invisible, once again. _Invisible, invisible, invisible. That's the key word to my life._

My eyes were fixed on my watch, following the movement as the seconds passed. _Tick tick tick_... It was comforting to see time pass, knowing that with every tick of my watch, I was one second closer to getting out of this hell hole.

"That's it for today, guys," Mr. Jones concluded our English class. I sighed contently. Only one more hour to go. After I had collected my books, I reached behind me to take my jacket from my chair, only to realize it wasn't there. My brow furrowed in confusion.

When did I last have it?

I was mentally going over my day, trying to remember when I could have lost it. And then it hit me. I must have forgotten it in the lockers room after PE... That was the only possibility. I threw a quick glance at my watch and realized that if I would go pick it up now, I'd be late in math. _Not gonna happen. Guess I'll have to go get it after school._

The last hour had passed once again in its slow, excruciating way but luckily without any other incidents of being insulted. A successful day in my book.

And now I could finally go home.

I made my way through the hallway to the parking lot, once again avoiding people as much as possible. Relieved I took a seat in my car, fumbling with the radio as I waited for everyone else to leave the parking lot. I always waited for every other car to be gone before I reversed.

My car was my life, one of the only things I treasured besides my computer that is, and there was no way one of these stupid kids was gonna dent or damage it. I swear half of them must have gotten their drivers license in a package of cereals, regarding their driving skills.

When I could finally turn on the engine, I remembered my forgotten jacket in the locker's room. _Great. _Grumbling under my breath I got out of my car again and went back to the school building.

The hallways were deserted, as you would have expected of course. Everyone had already gone home.

I quickly walked through the building to the boy's lockers room. I was just going to snatch that stupid jacket of the rack and speed home but as I passed the girl's lockers room, I saw that the door was slightly open, only by a few inches, but enough to be able to peek inside. It wasn't intentionally that I looked, but when my eyes fell on a figure inside, I couldn't look away.

One of the girls was still getting dressed, her brown hair still damp from the shower she had just taken, I assumed. She was like an angel. No, she was even better. Her milky skin was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

I knew her, of course I did. In a small town everyone knew everyone, and that girl there was Stephanie McMahon.

I had seen her before, multiple times, when she had walked across school property, but I've never really looked at her. I never looked at anyone.

But now I was and she was exquisite. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. _How come I had never noticed her before?_

Maybe because I didn't really notice anyone in school, but I guess mostly because I knew she was _way_ out of my league. She wasn't one of the popular girls per se, but she wasn't unpopular as well. Rumors were that Kurt Angle, the "leader" of the popular crowd, had a thing for her so that makes her kind of popular as well, I guess. Not that she cared. But other than that she wasn't like the queen of the school. She was just a normal teenage girl, a breathtakingly beautiful teenage girl. I could easily see why Angle was so smitten with her.

I was lost as well, trying to take in her beauty. But then she suddenly turned around and looked at me, her eyes widening as she caught me staring at her almost naked body. My brain started racing at a hundred miles an hour as the initial shock in her eyes changed into white fury. I was caught red handed.

I had failed to be invisible.


	3. Chapter 3

_Steph_

I hated taking showers after PE. It was just weird and it made me feel too exposed. But I had sweated too much during this torturous volleyball lesson that I just couldn't pass on it this time.

Luckily, no one else seemed to be bothered by their sweating bodies. They just got dressed and fled out of the room as quickly as possible, happy to go home after another boring day in high school. _Thank fucking god._

By the time I returned out of the shower, into our lockers room, everyone else had already left. I sighed in relief as I hated getting dressed while people were watching.

Not that I had any major complexes. There was nothing wrong with my body per se, but still, there are always little things I'd have liked to see different. For once I'm seriously too pale, don't get me wrong, it's not like I want one of those fake tans that make you look like an orange but a little more color would be very welcome. But all in all, I wasn't complaining. I just didn't like someone around me while I got dressed. High school lives of gossip and most of those rumors started in the locker rooms.

Not that I was the subject of gossip often. Only the ones Chris came up with. Mostly ones that involved the fact that we were dating. Which we were not. And we would never be.

Seriously, it's not because the kid was popular that he could get every girl he wanted, especially me. No, just no.

I guess I would have rather died than let Jericho touch me. God knows where his hands had already been. I bet on more than half of the school's girls, that is. Gross!

I quickly toweled my hair, while humming one of those new pop tunes. Don't ask me the name of the song, because I wouldn't have been able to tell you. _Yes, I was one of those girls._

I rummaged through my bag, looking for a comb, hoping that I hadn't forgotten it at home, which would be typical of me of course. There weren't a lot of days that I found myself not forgetting something.

And today wasn't one of those days.

As alternative I combed my fingers through my hair to get the knots out of it as much as possible. After about five minutes of torturing myself I had managed to straighten and unknot it to a point that I looked decent.

You know how they always say that you can feel it when someone is watching you? Well, I had that exact feeling at that moment. Like someone's eyes were on me. It was like miniscule chills were going through my entire body.

I slowly turned around, actually expecting to see nobody as I thought the room was completely empty but I couldn't have been more wrong.

Paul freaking Levesque was staring at me through the slightly open door, his eyes fixated on my body.

_Who the hell didn't close the door?_

And on top of that I was hardly wearing any clothes. I was in my underwear for Christ's sake!

"What the hell?" I yelled, in a reflex covering as much skin as possible with my hands.

His eyes widened in fear as he realized he had been caught before he quickly turned around, as red as a tomato, and fled out of the hallway.

A feeling of rage was boiling up inside me. _Who does he think he is? Being all innocent but when no one's watching he's a complete pervert!_

I quickly threw on my sweater and jeans, left everything behind and ran after him. I wasn't going to let him get away with this so easily.

He was already in the parking lot – which was empty by now – when I caught up with him.

"Who do you think you are?" I shouted, still walking hurriedly towards him. He stopped abruptly and slowly turned around, fear still evident in his eyes, but I didn't care. He has harassed me so I had every right to shout at him. "I'm... I-I-I'm-m-m..." he stuttered.

"Oh don't tell me you're sorry!" I snapped, pointing my finger at him accusingly. He looked scared, like a deer trapped in a corner. For a second I felt bad about how I was treating him, but then again, he was the one peeking inside so yeah, he had all rights to be scared. He had no business there, watching me so I didn't feel like I was overreacting.

"Are you gonna talk or what?" I yelled, stopping about two feet away from him.

"I-I-I'd..."

"Seriously, what is wrong with you? Are you really a freak, huh?"

By now his eyes were glazing and he was gaping like a fish, trying to say something but no sounds left his mouth.

"How many times have you already played the spy?" I spat at him, my anger flaring because of his silence. He shook his head heavily; his eyes closed, but still, not a word.

"I see what you're doing here, you know! Being all innocent and stuttering so nobody would expect anything but in fact you're just lurking on every girl here! God, I even bet that when it comes to it, you're just fine!"

I heard him take in a deep breath, obviously shocked at my accusation. _Yeah, take that mister!_

I was waiting for him to respond but once again he stayed mute, looking like I had just stabbed his puppy or whatever. _I couldn't care less._

After an angry staring contest on my side and a hurtful staring contest on his side, I turned around with a big huff, making my way back to the girl's lockers room. I was wasting my time with this loser. I didn't know how, but I was going to get back to him.

"Perv!" I yelled as I ran up the stairs to the main entrance. I didn't know if he could still hear it, but I hoped he did. _Serves him well._

I quickly put on my clothes and took my bag, wanting to go home as soon as possible now. I felt like I needed another shower.

And that's exactly what I did when I arrived home. Luckily for him, Paul had been out of the parking lot when I arrived back, because my rage was still boiling under the surface of my skin and seeing him would probably have set me off again.

The whole ride home I had been thinking about how I was going to handle this. I could go to the principal, but I think, seeing Paul's spotless reputation in our school, he'd get away with a simple remark and the promise to never do it again. Like in kindergarten...

So, no I would have to come up with a better plan.

As I crawled into bed that night, I still didn't know how to handle the situation. Part of me wanted to forget about it all and just pretend it never happened because it was kind of embarrassing for me as well, another part wanted to talk to him, ask him why he was there and have a decent conversation about this, but then there was that last, vicious part of me that wanted to take revenge.

I decided to let the night decide. Maybe after a good night's rest I could put everything in perspective and finally decide what I would do.

But as I was reminded of his eyes on me, travelling all over my almost naked body I couldn't help but lean towards the last option. I felt disgusting every time I thought about it.

Nevertheless, the last thing I saw as I fell asleep were his brown eyes filled with hurt and fear.

**Please read:** Ok. I know I haven't been updating anything lately but I hope you are a little bit interested. Also, I haven't read any fanfics in a very long time, so please don't feel bad if I haven't reviewed or anything. I will get around to it, eventually. Well anyways, thanks for reading and I hope you will make a girl's day a drop a review, it would probably get me in the mood to update more often.


	4. Chapter 4

_Paul_

Remarks had never hurt me. They never did. Not once did one of the comments people threw at me affect me in any way.

But somehow now that _she_ had said something harsh, it did. It hurt. I hurt to the very core of my bones, in every fiber of my pathetic being.

And I didn't know why I was suddenly so affected by some words that had never affected me before.

Maybe because I had just realized that she was exquisite and because I had never expected _her_ to say something like that.

Stephanie had never before called me out on something. Ever. She was one of those people who were actually nice to me, even though I didn't want them to. Of course she, just as everyone else, had given up on those nice gestures when I made it very clear that I wanted to be left alone. But even though I had made my point clear, she had always been nice to me. Distant, but nice nonetheless.

But today, she hadn't been kind. She had said the worst of all words. She had accused me of feigning whatever illness I had.

And even though her words had hurt badly I guess in some way, I deserved parts of them.

What was I even thinking, watching her like she was some kind of animal in the zoo? Why hadn't I just walked away after I had noticed that the door was slightly ajar? Why had my brain only reacted when it was too late? _Right, because you're stupid!_

I'll never forget the look of anger that had spread across her beautiful face when she noticed I was ogling her. Anger that was completely directed towards me.

Never in my life had I wished more to be able to just disappear. And apparently fleeing out of the hallway, into the parking lot, hadn't been enough to escape it all.

The sharp-edged tone of her voice as she called my name cut through my flesh. I was frozen in spot, unable to move. I wanted to tell her it was all a misunderstanding, sort of. And that I was sorry, above all, that I regretted being so stupid. I needed her to know that I had never meant to harass her, but of course, my speaking abilities were completely against me. I couldn't even form a decent apology before she was talking again.

She threw every insult possible in my face but the one that hurt most was that one where she assumed that my whole life was a play, that I was just acting to be who I was. _If that were only true..._

Did she really think that I wanted to be like this? Did she really believe that this is what I wanted my life to be? Couldn't she tell that all I ever wanted was to be normal? To just be like them? Apparently she couldn't...

Totally unexpected Stephanie broke eye contact with me, after shooting angry glares at me for more than five minutes straight and ran back towards the  
school building. I saw it as my cue to leave as soon as possible. As I stepped into my car, I heard the last insult she threw at me, yelling the one word for the entire school ground. "Perv."

Tears were threatening to fall. I never cried.

Ever.

Never would I have thought that I would be the person to be insulted for being a pervert. But maybe that's exactly what I was now. A pervert. A teenage boy lurking at a young girl getting dressed because that's all he can get.

She made me question everything. Why could she make me feel so weak? Why could a few words from her unravel me and make me so vulnerable, make me feel so exposed?

The entire drive home I was fighting those tears, fighting myself from falling apart. I could not let her affect me. I could not take her words seriously. She didn't know me. She didn't know what she was talking about.

I kept repeating those words over and over again, as a mantra, but nothing helped. It still hurt.

Once home, I busted through the front door, through the living room, hoping I could lock myself in my room without anyone noticing my arrival. But apparently, luck wasn't at my side today. _Well, that had already been proved, hadn't it?_

"Paul?"

I ignored my mother and just kept walking to the staircase that led to the sanctuary of my room.

"Paul, are you okay?"

"F-f-f-f-ine," I managed to croak out in response, the lump in my throat probably giving away that I wasn't fine at all. But the last thing I needed was my mother feeling bad for me. I didn't need her compassion. I didn't need her to baby me. I was seventeen years old for Christ sake!

"Sweetheart, what happened?" Sweetheart, I hated it when she called me that. Talk about babying someone.

"I-i-i-t's o-kay." My voice sounded so weak. _Stupid stutter._

But luckily my mom didn't follow me up the stairs. If there was one thing she knew, it was when she needed to leave me the hell alone. _Thank fucking god_.

I slammed the door shut, breathing in relief because here no one could touch me, here I was safe.

Or so I thought.

I might be safe from people's words and comments, but I wasn't safe from my own fucked-up mind. Stephanie's words kept playing over and over in my head, taunting me, torturing me.

'_Seriously, what is wrong with you? Are you really a freak, huh?'_

Maybe I was a freak that I didn't belong here. Maybe they should lock me up somewhere, away from everyone and anything. Maybe I really was damaged beyond repair.

'_I see what you're doing here, you know! Being all innocent and stuttering so nobody would expect anything but in fact you're just lurking on every girl here! God, I even bet you're just fine!'_

I was not fine. I was anything but fine. I couldn't remember a time I had felt this bad. Maybe right after the accident, but I'm not sure.

I couldn't seem to be able to figure out why all of the sudden someone could affect me this much? Why was she different from all the rest? Why could she hurt me while no one else could?

With a sigh I let myself fall on my bed, staring at the plain, white sealing of my room, hoping that the crushing feeling would go away or at least subside, but nothing changed. Her words were still burning a hole through my mind, biting a way straight to my soul.

And worst of all; I had a feeling she wasn't going to just drop this. She wasn't going to let me get away with this so easily. The last thing I had seen in her eyes before she turned around in the parking lot was determination. Determination to hurt me even more, maybe even crush me.

As if I wasn't already broken enough.

I guess she would be the person to break my final straw. If she wanted she could totally break me down.

My heartbeat sped up thinking about all the ways she could get to me, all the ways she could hurt me. Even thinking of things she could say to me hurt. There were many of them and as I was imagining all of those things, I knew that tomorrow would be horrible.

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	5. Chapter 5

_Stephanie _

The shrill sound of my alarm clock woke me that morning, shaking me from my dream - or nightmare; I couldn't quite tell yet - where a pair of haunting brown eyes was staring at me in fear.

It didn't take me long to realize who the owner of those eyes was.

Paul Levesque.

The innocent Paul Levesque or at least that what was everyone thought. Apparently he wasn't as innocent as he made everyone believe.

I ran my hand through my hair, combing my fingers through the thick locks while my mind went over yesterday's events.

Anger was still boiling under my skin as I remembered his eyes on me. I still hadn't forgiven him, that much was certain, but I felt a lot calmer then I had been yesterday evening. I guess a good night's rest puts things a bit in perspective.

I still hadn't decided what I was going to do about it all though, but I realized there was no hurry to make that decision. I could taunt him a little bit first.

I got up and got dressed in a pair of my favorite skinny jeans and a grey sweater. When I arrived downstairs, I saw that my dad had already left, leaving me alone with my mom for breakfast.

My dad was almost never home. Either he was working or he was out with his buddies. And on the rare occasions that he was home, he was sitting on the couch watching the sports channel.

And my mom, well, she was just her crazy, erratic self, finding herself another hobby every week but we were happy.

I quickly kissed her cheek when I heard Tiffaney sounding the horn, announcing her arrival. I was lucky to have a best friend like her, who was willing to pick me up every morning my mom wouldn't let me use her car because she needed it for one of her crazy trips.

On our way to school we chatted about the most random things, well, Tiff talked and I listened, like usual. For a brief moment I thought about telling her the entire 'Paul Levesque is a perv-story' but in the end I decided against it. And it's not like I would have been able to say anything while she was talking. Apparently some Hollywood star had launched a new clothing line and it was all she could think about. But even though she could be annoying as hell sometimes, I loved Tiffaney more than anyone in this entire world.

She parked her car smoothly in the slowly filling parking lot. As we walked to the entrance, I quickly scanned the lot for the Paul's car, but there was no sign of it yet.

In fact, I didn't know why I did it, but I guess I kind of wondered if he would have the nerve to show up today.

"Steph?" Tiff poked me in the arm, asking for my attention again. Oh, I guess I must have been completely lost in thought because I hadn't even noticed Cassie arriving.

"Euh, what?" I asked apologetically, finally arriving back on the face of the earth.

"Jeez, where were you?" Cassie laughed. "She asked if you'll join us tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Oh my god, Steph, have you been listening to anything I've been saying the past five minutes?" Tiff shrieked, throwing her hands up in defeat.

I shrugged apologetically.

"Shopping?"

"Oh sorry, guys, I can't. I promised my mom to cook dinner tonight," I said truthfully.

"Oh okay, some other time then," she said casually before walking off to her first class.

I hurried to my next class, subconsciously scanning the hallways for him. When I realized I was doing it, I shook my head, trying to snap out of it. _What the hell is wrong with me today?_

I took my seat in class, next to the pretty harmless Mike. _That's exactly what you thought of Paul Levesque as well._

I growled under my breath as I allowed my mind to wander back to _him. _Seriously, what was wrong with me? I didn't even know the guy and yet now I couldn't stop thinking about him. And not in a way I was expecting it. I wasn't contemplating ways to get back at him, to humiliate him or whatever, I was just randomly thinking of him. Randomly, with flashes of his face as I called him out yesterday.

For the reminder of the morning I was distracted, to say at least. I tried very hard to keep focused on what the teachers were saying but it was all in vain. They might as well have been talking about how the earth was going to be attacked by aliens tomorrow and I would still have nodded in agreement.

When the bell signaled the end of class, I was growing frustrated with myself. Why couldn't I let this go?

I quickly hurried towards the cafeteria, kind of hoping that seeing the stupid boy who had occupied my thoughts for the past twenty hours would be enough to finalize everything. I wished that it would trigger me into action. Any type of action, I didn't care anymore. I just wanted it to be over with.

For a moment I thought that my initial thoughts this morning were true, that he hadn't had the nerve to come to school today.

But then I found him, sitting in his usual spot in the back of the room, all by himself, like every other day. His eyes quickly diverted to his plate as if the food was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. He had obviously noticed that I was looking for him and now his whole demeanor screamed that he was utterly and completely frightened.

Oh god, what had I done?

This boy, who I didn't even know, was scared of me. So scared that he wouldn't even dare to look in my direction again. I felt sick.

I had to make this up. I had to.

I remembered how my blood used to boil when someone else would throw a nasty remark his way, and now I wasn't any better than those people. I had insulted him in a way no one deserved it. I had assumed things I knew nothing about.

I hadn't even given him the time to explain himself, explain why he was in the hallway, looking inside the girl's lockers room.

At that moment I had felt like he didn't need to explain himself as it had seemed pretty obvious what had happened, but now I was beginning to realize that there might be something I was overlooking. Right now, I just couldn't see this shy boy having the nerve to spy on a girl getting dressed. He didn't even have the nerve to look at me now.

I don't think I've ever loathed myself more than right at this very moment.

Every plan of revenge that I had yesterday was completely forgotten when I saw him sitting in the back of the cafeteria, looking more lost and scared than ever.

I slowly made my way over to him, ignoring the weird looks Tiffaney and Cassie shot me as I passed their table. I would explain everything later but now I had to set something right.

Paul's eyes quickly shot up from his plate when he heard me approaching, the heels of my black pumps resonating against the linoleum cafeteria floor. He almost ducked completely away when he realized I was heading towards his table, fear so evident in his eyes.

Did he really think I was going to hurt him?

Oh wait, I already had, hadn't I?

_Steph, what have you gotten yourself into?_

When I finally was in front of his table I could actually see him trembling and it made my heart ache. What had I done?

I opened my mouth to say something, but no sounds left my lips. I didn't know what to say.

_Should I just apologize?_

I took a deep breath and said the first thing that came to my mind. "Um...hi."

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**I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing, because that's what keeps me updating so same as usual...reviews = updates. Smileyface**


	6. Chapter 6

_Paul._

The moment I saw Stephanie walking towards my table in the cafeteria, I knew I was as good as dead.

Never in my life had I felt a more powerful urge to run than right at that very moment. I just wanted to get up and leave. I wanted to get the hell out of this place. I just wanted to disappear into nothingness, be really invisible just as I intended to be all the time.

But right this time, I had nowhere to go. I was all alone, at a table in the back and the only way out of this place at the other side of the room, behind Stephanie. It was as if that door was mocking at me right now, laughing at what was going to happen to me.

I was dead, and most definitely no longer invisible.

Stephanie was going to make a scene here. It all made sense as I saw her coming closer and closer, a determined look on her face. She was going to yell at me in front of the entire lunch crowd and I was going to have to take it because I wouldn't be able to hide. I was in full display of everyone even though I was in the corner of the room. She would call me out for being a pervert and a voyeur and within seconds the entire school would be chanting those words with her like an anthem.

I let myself sink further into my chair, my heart beating faster than ever.

I was dead.

I counted the steps she took towards me. And with every step, my throat was getting dryer and I had to clench my teeth together not to lose it already. _Breathe, Paul, breathe! _I clasped my hands together, willing them to stop trembling.

I was utterly and totally terrified.

Of a girl.

The moment she stopped in front of my table was exactly the moment where my heart probably had stopped beating. And I guess I had stopped breathing as well. _Yeah, like that will make you invisible again!_

I was preparing myself for the full blow, but nothing came. She was silent, just standing there, saying absolutely nothing. And I was too scared to look up and see why she wasn't yelling yet.

I could already feel everyone's eyes on me. The entire room had suddenly gone almost quiet, only a few whispers making their way through the crowded cafeteria, but all eyes were on the table in the back of the room. My table.

_Please go away. Please go away. Please go away._

But Stephanie didn't leave. She stayed exactly where she was and then when she finally started speaking, she said the last word I would ever have guessed she would say to me after what had happened. "Um... Hi."

Because of this total surprise, my eyes shot up from my table and met hers. And what I saw there was another shock to add to my list. Her blue eyes weren't filled with hate or anger; they were soft and remorseful and it almost made me feel bad.

_What is she playing at?_

"Can I talk to you for a second?" she finally asked, almost in a whisper.

I didn't respond. I couldn't even if I wanted to. My throat was too dry to produce any sound whatsoever. And I hated it. I hated that I couldn't speak up because all I wanted to do was yell at her to leave me alone. I hated being the center of attention and that was exactly what I was right this very moment. All eyes were on our table, waiting for the Stephanie bomb to burst and embarrass me. _Yeah, spectacle of the month._

But nothing happened. She remained silent and waited for my answer. But that answer would never come.

After what seemed like an eternity, in which I still hadn't said a word obviously, she drew back a chair and sat down in front of me, making my heart speed up even more.

_Please just leave._

"Paul?" she asked again, her voice so soft and quiet, but I still didn't react. Even now there wasn't any direct threat, but I was still scared nonetheless.

Did she even realize how much power she had over me right now? One harsh word and the entire school would go crazy. They would adore her and hate me even more.

"Can you please say something, anything?" Stephanie pleaded.

"Ca-a-an y-ou-ou pleas-s-e go?" I stuttered, finally able to voice my thoughts even though my words were no louder than a whisper. My eyes were scanning the place cautiously in the meantime. Everyone was still watching, wondering why Stephanie had chosen to take a seat with me instead of with her friends.

Stephanie suddenly seemed to have noticed the sudden lack of conversation around us as well and her eyes started scanning the room, taking it all in. I could see her hand tighten into a fist on the table and for a moment I thought she was finally going to start shouting at me, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

"WE'RE NOT A MUSEUM PIECE SO YOU CAN ALL GO BACK TO EATING NOW!" she yelled towards no one in particular, startling the hell out of everyone, including me.

Embarrassed they all diverted their eyes, but I could see that they were still peering out of the corner of their eyes, wondering what was going on in the back of the room. Hushed conversations were starting again as Stephanie kept shooting daggers at everyone who even dared to look in our direction again. The entire thing confused the hell out of me but at least I was happy her anger wasn't directed at me. Yet, at least.

"I really need to talk to you," she said, turning her body back towards me, but once again, I remained silent. Maybe after a while she would just give up and leave. Nobody wants to talk to the mute boy.

I toyed with the apple on my plate, refusing to look at her again when suddenly her hand shot out and covered mine. In a reflex I tore it away from underneath hers, quickly placing it on my lap again, as my eyes fearfully shot to hers again. She as well was obviously shocked by my reaction to her almost harmless gesture but mixed within the shock there was sympathy visible in her eyes. Sympathy for the poor, lonely teenage boy with no friends. _Great._

"Okay, then don't say anything, but I really need to say this," she said, forcing her eyes to mine so I wouldn't look away again.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. I really am. I shouldn't have just gone off at you like that. I guess there's a very good reason why you were... well... where you were."

I nodded slightly, giving her at least that much for apologizing. _God, she really was apologizing to me._

_Shouldn't I be the one to do that? I was the one caught staring at her..._

I opened my mouth, willing to say something or at least try to say something, explain that I was just trying to get to the boy's locker's room to pick up my coat, but she interrupted me before I could even make an attempt to say something in return.

"I know I was in no position to just say the things I said. They were horrible, Paul, and I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I was just startled and I-"

At this point, I was just losing it. Was this her way for getting back at me? Making me feel so damn awful about myself?

"Ju-u-u-ust le-e-e-et it go," I uttered, hoping she would just get up and leave already.

_Please, just go._

"I can't let it go, Paul," Stephanie said forcefully now,. "I hate people who say stuff like that to you. I've always judged them and now I'm no better than they are. We don't know what you've gone through or why you are the way you are so we don't have the right to talk bad about you." She paused for a moment before continuing. "I'm really sorry I did."

My eyes shot up at hers. She had just told me the most basic thing I believed in to make it through every single day at school. _They don't know the real me so they can't hurt me._

A soft smile crept on my lips as I saw the sincerity on her face. Maybe I could, well, sort of forgive her after all.

If I told her we were cool, she would at least leave so I could return to my own bubble of invisibility.

She would no longer feel bad, and neither would I. It would be a win-win.

"It-t-t-t's-s-s-s o-oo-o-okayyy," I sputtered, offering her a half-hearted smile along with it to show that I really was okay. I was used to being humiliated and insulted, but she was the very first one to ever apologize, so why shouldn't I accept her apology? I bet she even really meant what she said. _God, girls are confusing._

But the smile that spread on her lips when she realized I had really accepted her apology made me happy about my decision. I guess that was the first time a girl had ever smiled at me like that. And I would be lying if I said I didn't like it.

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**A/N: Hey, lovelies! I've finally updated while on spring break, and since I'm trying to get back into updating it would mean the world to me if you would review. Even the simplest reviews make me smile. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

_Stephanie_

The bell sounded through the cafeteria, announcing the end of break and causing everyone to get up instantly. The sound of multiple chairs scraping against the linoleum floor gave me chills all over my body. _Is it really that hard to just lift the chair a few inches? God!_

I was still sitting at Paul's table, not entirely satisfied with my apology yet. I owned him. I really felt like I owed him. Not only for yelling but God, I had probably scared the poor guy to death with it.

He was already up, quickly putting the leftovers of his lunch in his blue backpack and zipping it up before slinging it over his back.

I jumped up from my chair as well, forcing my eyes once again into his. I really needed this eye contact before I could talk to him. I had a feeling that if he was looking away, he was closing himself off and didn't hear a thing.

"Paul, I want to make this up to you," I said, once I thought I had his attention, "I'd do anything."

_God, Stephanie, could you be any more desperate?_

He shook his head, obviously showing that there was no need for me to make this up.

But I couldn't just let this pass. I felt horrible and I hated the feeling. His accepting my apology just wasn't enough.

"No, really, Paul, please!" I pleaded, blocking his way partially so he would have to face me.

"I'm-m-m-m al-l-l-lready late fo-o-o-or class-ss," he stuttered, forcing his eyes once again to the blue floor while carefully passing me without a single touch. I watched as he made his way through the crowd, not touching a single person on his way out._ That boy was a pro at avoiding body contact._

I was still staring at him when Jessica and Hayley joined me, gaping at me like I had just eaten something from the floor or whatever.

"What the hell just happened?" Hayley shrieked, pinching me in the arm.

"Why were you talking to the geek?" Jess added, angrily.

"I have something to make up to him," I said, already walking away from them, but unfortunately they were quickly to catch up on with me.

"Why on earth would you have to do that?" Jess shouted, confusion all over her insanely beautiful face.

"Because," I stated, not willing to give them a complete rerun of yesterday's events.

"Steph, you just don't make something up to someone _because,_" Hayley chimed in,. "What happened?"

I sighed deeply, contemplating just how much I was going to tell them. Most definitely nothing about the locker room incident. They'd go around tell and that wouldn't get us anywhere. It was an accident and it could have happened to any one so it was something that was going to stay between Paul and me.

"I called him out, undeserved," I said, deciding that that would have to do.

"Jesus, Steph, everyone in this entire school does that," Hayley responded, rolling her eyes.

"Well, they shouldn't! And I feel bad because I did, so I was being a grown-up and I apologized," I stated, shooting daggers at my friend.

Jessica might be intimidating to some people, with her gorgeous body, perfectly tanned skin and styled blond locks of hair, but she was one of my best friends and I didn't find a single thing intimidating about her anymore. She was just Jess to me and I wasn't afraid to contradict her.

"What names did you call him?" Hayley asked curiously.

"Does it matter?" I huffed, annoyed by it all. Why couldn't they just let it go? Why was everyone so intrigued about what I had or had not told him?

"Come on, Steph, we won't tell anyone. Please, please, please." Hayley was pleading now, folding her tiny hands together as she walked in front of me. When she added that puppy dog look to it all, I caved in. Well, partially.

"I called him a freak," I muttered, recalling one of the least insulting things I had yelled at him yesterday. I felt worse about the whole 'You're just playing innocent while in fact you're just spying on every girl in the school'- part because by now I knew that the truth was so far away from that. He was terrified to look at a girl, so spying would probably be the least of his concerns.

"So what, he _is_ a freak!"

"Jess!" I scolded; once again hurt by the way she was going off on him. Seriously, had she always been that way?

"God, Steph, every single person in this school has already thrown insults at him, so why do you suddenly care about it so much?"

"Well, I don't want to be one of them! I really want to make it up to him, Jess," I said truthfully, "It makes me feel bad, okay?"

"Well, you've just spend your entire lunch with him, giving him more attention than all of us together have given him in the past year so I think you're good," Jess muttered, unintentionally biting her manicured fingernails as we entered the class room.

"Jessica!" I tried to explain, "He doesn't want the attention. From the first second, I had a feeling that he'd rather see me leaving than staying with him and giving him some minutes of fame or whatsoever."

"Well, then maybe you should leave him alone, like everyone else does."

I ignored Jess' comment as I was too lost in my own thoughts to even really notice her harsh tone. In my mind I was going over the entire lunch again, trying to figure out why everything bothered me so much while he didn't even seem to be bothered the slightest. Was he really that used to being insulted?

The thing that stood out to me the most was the fact that he really did look really uncomfortable the entire time I was around him. He had followed my every move and gesture from out of the corner of his eye and when I had, without even thinking, placed my hand on top of his, he removed his so quickly that I didn't even have time to react to it.

Maybe he was just afraid of human contact? He never seemed to touch anyone, let alone speak to someone.

By this time, I wasn't paying attention to any of my classes anymore as my mind was still at that lunch table, trying to form an image of the real Paul Levesque.

One thing was certain; he rather be on his own and hated being the center of attention. And I had just violated those two things for him. _Great, another thing to add to the pile of things I should feel guilty about._

But the longer I thought of it, the more I wanted to know him, the more I wanted to just get to him and it really confused me as to why that was. I never really paid attention to him before, but now that I had, I couldn't let it go. He seemed like a really nice guy but for some reason he was so closed off from everything that it was almost painful to watch. Throughout the entire conversation I could see the pain in his eyes. It wasn't prominent, but it was there, lurking around the corner, but still very well hidden.

Maybe all he needed was someone to just drag him out of it, someone who would just listen to him and take his side. Maybe all he needed was a friend.

And in some weird way, I felt like I really wanted to be that person to him. I wanted to help him, not in some sort of sick, charity way, but in a normal, friendly way.

The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that this could be my way of saying sorry to him. And to be honest, I was actually really looking forward to being his friend because he seemed like someone true and genuine, someone who wouldn't start talking behind your back like you can expect from everyone nowadays.

God, maybe this wasn't such a bad thing after all.

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A/N:Thanks for all the reviews and welcome back messages, I would have had this up yesterday but my wifi was down so I couldn't upload it. Please review! :)


	8. Chapter 8

_Stephanie_

I admit it, my plan to become Paul's friend had seemed much easier in theory than in reality. I had been quite naïve to think that I would just be able to walk up to him, tell him that I wanted to be his friend and that would do it.

But no.

I guess I should have known that Paul Levesque wouldn't react the usual way to this at all. I should have known that he wouldn't be ecstatic about this whole new thing.

At first, he didn't even give me a chance to talk to him after that day at lunch. It was obvious that he was avoiding me. Like to the extremes.

Every time I saw him in the hallway or at school grounds and tried to catch his attention, he suddenly took off, making his way through the crowd and just disappearing into nothingness, leaving me confused and actually a bit mad as well.

Tiffaney and Cassie always gave me those weird, disapproving glances every time I returned from another failed mission of making contact with Paul.

"Just let it go, Steph, he doesn't want it," Cassie sighed. My friends of course, weren't so happy with this new idea of mine. But I wasn't going to back down, so I shook my head at Cassie's comment.

In fact, this whole running thing made me even more determined. This guy needed someone to help him to open up and dammit, I wanted to be the one helping him.

It kept me awake at nights as I was trying to figure out a way to sort of corner him without making him feel anxious, but it was as if my brain wasn't capable of helping me. I came up with nothing.

So for an entire week, I was just hoping to run into him so I could try to start a conversation, but either I didn't see him all day and when I finally, on a very rare occasion did, well, then he took off like a bat out of hell. He didn't even come to lunch anymore and that didn't ease my frustration. Not at all.

For the first time I thought about giving up. I had once again felt the need to take a shower after PE – damn those stupid running ball sports - leaving me the last one to leave the school building. People were still leaving the parking lot when I arrived but most of them had already left.

The whole place still made me feel bad. Every time I walked here, I was reminded of those horrible words I had yelled towards Paul.

But as I walked to my mum's car – luckily she didn't need the thing for a while as her new hobby was painting – I saw that Paul's car was still in the far end of the lot, in his usual spot but he was nowhere to be seen. _Weird._

Just as I was about to step into my car, he came out of the school building, head bowed down and hands in his pockets.

Without giving it a second thought, I quickly made my way towards him, hoping that now there wasn't any audience he would at least want to talk to me.

But no.

The minute he saw me, he almost ran towards his car, trying to escape once again. I was only a few feet behind him and completely frustrated by this all.

"God, Paul, will you please stop running away from me!" I yelled, getting desperate. My sudden outburst made him slow down as if on cue. I passed him and stopped right in front of him, forcing him to halt as well.

"I know what I did was horrible, I know, okay! I know I hurt you and I feel really fucking bad about it, but you won't even give me a chance to make it up to you," I said, my eyes slowly filling with tears. _Oh great, now I was going to lose it as well. What was wrong with me?_

"You d-d-d-d-on't have t-t-t-o," he stuttered, obviously once again very uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"Yes, I do," I said determined, out of reflex extending my hand to touch his arm but quickly retreating as I remembered the last time I had tried to reach out to him.

He shook his head ferociously and his eyes screamed at me to just leave him alone. That would of course be the easy way out. But I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't accept the fact that he wouldn't talk to me. This was bothering me far too much and I didn't even know why.

"I won't let this go," I stated, crossing my arms in front of me to give my words more strength.

His eyes were almost pleading with me now, pleading to give him what he really wanted; being left alone. But I wouldn't have that. That wouldn't make me feel better about all this.

"Why are you always pushing people away?" I asked. "Why are you pushing me away? I'm just trying to be nice here! Can't you see that I'm trying to be your friend?"

Confusion spread over his face before he once again shook his head. I waited for him to answer me, but once again he remained silent, frustrating me even more. I know he had a stutter, but that didn't bother me. It made him who he was. It bothered me far more that he just wouldn't attempt to have a decent conversation with me, to voice his thoughts so I knew how to approach him.

"I'm serious," I said, trying to look him in the eyes again so he could see that I indeed meant it.

"It's-s-s-s bett-er thi-i-i-is way," he mumbled, trying to walk past me but this time I didn't let him. No more escaping.

"How can you even think that?" I almost yelled at him, causing him to flinch. _Great Steph, yell some more, that will do the trick!_

"Be-because y-y-y-you can-n-n-n't trust any-y-yone," he whispered, his eyes cast down towards the floor.

"You don't trust me," I stated, deciphering his words. I tried to ignore the pang of guilt that shot through me that moment. Guilt and maybe pain as well. It was weird, but I had never wanted to befriend anyone more than I wanted to befriend Paul now. It wasn't even about the whole 'making-up'-thing anymore, I just wanted him to realize that I wasn't that bad. I wanted him to find a friend in me as well.

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